Wednesday, 10 October 2007
Am I a Hermit?
Sometimes, on Goodaboom, we live totally isolated from the rest of the world... Kevin is always moaning, kindly but still moaning, complaining that we live by the sea and never see it! Well, it is quite true. My fault, I guess. I don´t really like to go out here, don´t really enjoy the town anymore. It has changed so much since I moved here the first time, the tourists, the natives and even the weather have become more unfriendly. The scenery and the sea might be so wonderful, but I just feel some unpleasant vibes in the air when I go out and it brings me down.
An example... as our fridge became emptier and emptier until it achieved a state of total emptiness yesterday, we decided to go shopping after the swimming. Everything was closed: the swimming pool, the shops, In fact they had all been closed since Saturday and we hadn´t noticed! Really, the rest of the world could implode sometimes and we wouldn´t notice!
And Kevin being incapacitated with the Cold from hell and out of action in the meanwhile I had to go shopping by myself today. Oh God, I hate it so much, and if it were not for my Kevin who is missing his cereals with hot milk and really needing them today, I wouldn´t go...
he said, as I kissed him goodbye.
"Careful of what?"
"Well.... One never knows!"
One never knows indeed! And what happened to me in the hour I was away is like something from a movie! In the supermarket carpark, near the entrance I was jostled by a wildly running guy who 2 meters away from me assaulted another.... They started hitting at each other, wordlessly, very agressively in the face, they fell to the ground, one after the other, and got up again, continuing to hit like men possessed. In the meanwhile an old lady, who seemed to belong to one of them, came out of the supermarket, tried to speak to them and, evidently stressed, lost her consciousness, falling to the ground. At the same time a supermarket worker ran out of the supermarket and tried to separate the fighters, but was knocked to the ground. I stood there, transfixed, very close, trying to escape inside the supermarket, but they had closed the doors and didn´t let anybody in or out. Luckily 2 police cars arrived soon after, and i just saw how two policemen tried to stop the fight but couldn´t and had to be helped by 2 others. Totally oblivious to the Police , the two men continued to fight like animals! In the meanwhile the doors were opened again and I disappeared inside. I am not fond of such scenes, not like all the people inside who were gathered by the windows greedily drinking in the scene.
It was just awful. One might think:
"It´s their problem!"
but it is not, It is my problem too, because it touches and hurts me very deeply. I totally hate aggressiveness, in thought and deed, and it makes me sick to witness it. It saddens and depresses me deeply to see how thin the human "skin of culture" is. "Society´s thin membrane" says Kevin. How difficult it is to live in that society, and how problematic all kinds of relationships are.
This is one of the reasons why some people think that I am an Hermit. Maybe I am, but not by choice. Just because I am too sensitive to all that happens outside...